France Q & A
We can never have enough French-bashing.
American: "Do you speak German?"
French: "No."
American: "You're welcome."
Some more:
Q: Did you hear about the new French tanks?
A: They have 5 gears…4 in reverse, and one forward gear just in case they're attacked from behind!
Q: Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?
A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.
Q: What do the French call a direct hit on Paris by a nuclear device?
A: More proof that inspections are working.
Q: Why do they have trees in Paris?
A: So the Germans can march in the shade instead of the sun.
Q: How many Frenchmen would it take to defend Paris?
A: It's not known, it's never been tried.
Q: Why is good to be French?
A: You can surrender at the beginning of the war, and the U.S. will win it for you.
Q: What does "Maginot" mean in English?
A: Welcome!
Q: What's the difference between Frenchmen and toast?
A: You can make soldiers out of toast.
Q: Why do we need France on our side against Saddam and Osama?
A: So the French can show them how to surrender.
Q: Why are the French so afraid of war?
A: You would be too if you never won one in your history.
Q: What is the first thing you are taught when joining the French army?
A: To say "I surrender" in German.
Q: What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?
A: The Army.
Q: Why was Jesus not born in France?
A: Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.
Q: What do you call a Frenchman with an IQ of 120?
A: A village.
Q: Did you hear about France's new weapons contracts?
A: They gave one to Ace Hardware to produce 250,000 wood sticks…they are still looking for a company to produce 250,000 little white flags.
Q: Where are the brave French soldiers buried?
A: There aren't any so they had to bury some of ours on their soil.
Q: How do they separate the men from the boys in the French Foreign Legion?
A: Crowbar.
Q: Why does the new French navy have glass-bottomed boats?
A: So they can see the old French navy.
Q: Why do they call it the French Foreign Legion?
A: Because no one from France is willing to fight.